One of the things we often need in life is reassurance. Even those who appear full of confidence on the outside can get a boost from being told they did something well or some other type of reassurance. This is because self-doubt is part of who we are, there is always a sense that maybe we are not quite as good as we want to be. Whether it is someone passing comment about your hair being nice today, or telling you your presentation was handled well, that reassurance boosts confidence, a reminder that we can do the things we set out to get done.
What is especially important about reassurances is that they are always positive, there is no negative side to them. Think about it, if you see someone struggling with some situation, maybe stopped by the police at the side of the road, you may think ‘I’m glad I’m not that guy’. But that isn’t reassuring, rather it is criticism of that other person, it is not going to give you the confidence boost you want. You simply cannot get that by putting others down.
But there are ways you can get that reassurance in yourself without others providing it. I met someone at an event a few weeks ago who I found really interesting in their approach to business and life. We talked for a while, and every so often they made specific comments, and used certain phrases and ideas that I instantly recognized. They were things that I do and say too.
When you see yourself in another person and think positively about them, then that is reassuring. That is what happened, although younger than me and on a very different journey in life, I admired their attitude and approach, and knowing that those positive views come from things I associate with myself, I found that reassuring.
It is surprising how many times I have found myself talking to someone and thought that they have those little mannerisms or attitude that reminds me of myself. All ages, men and women, it doesn’t matter. By learning to recognize those little glimpses of ourselves in others, we can find constant reassurance without the need for praise from others. It can be a valuable experience, especially if you are taking on new experiences where uncertainty or self-doubt can really affect performance.